No thanks, I’m allergic…
Posted by Margo Lee on October 15, 2008
I work long, hard hours outside, every day the sun is shining. Sometimes I work over 12 hour days. Sometimes I have to be in the shop by 3:00AM. Sometimes I work for two weeks straight without a day off!!! When I DO get a day off, all I end up doing is sleeping. I’m exhausted and we’re still living paycheck to paycheck. When I come home all I want to do is be able to hang out with my wife and baby, but she never seems satisfied. How can I make my wife happy?! I hand her my checks every Friday and I tell her I love her all the time!!! But we never get to do anything fun and we’re miserable!
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Your wife is a lucky lady to be able to hear those three special words all the time! What I wouldn’t do to be able to hear them myself, “Here’s my check.”
I’m kidding, of course. Your wife IS lucky though, to have a man work so hard for her AND to hear, “I love you” all the time. I know lots of women who would trade with her in a second! The problem here is, your wife isn’t one of them. I’m sure you already know this, but I’ll point it out for those readers who haven’t picked up on this yet…women…are…complicated… AND, like you, we’re individuals. What makes you happy, isn’t what makes the next guy happy. So here you are, working your ass off and spouting off the exact words you told your last girlfriend (and didn’t they make HER happy?!) and STILL your wife isn’t satisfied?! What’s a guy to do?!
Unfortunately, in these tough economic times, there’s not much we can do about the long hours we work to make ends meet. You aren’t alone in living pay check to pay check. And it sounds as though your job is really doing a number on you and your family. If you guys aren’t being able to get out and enjoy each others’ company, it’s no wonder you’re miserable! Why not try to enjoy some of the time you have IN a little more creatively than you are? Sleeping, after all, is pretty uninspired.
Here are a couple of thoughts on the matter.
Communication is key…especially through the hard times. You mention a lot about yourself, but not a word about what you’re wife is up to. I get that you’re tired…I bet she is too. I also bet, that she misses you as much as you miss her, but then, if you’re too busy sleeping…well…’nuff said.
If you want to make your wife happy…and handing her your check and saying, “I love you” isn’t working…why not ASK what you could do for her that would make her smile? I mean, some women love chocolates, some love flowers. Some are allergic to both! Who knows.
What I mean is, the answer to your dilemna might be far easier than you think. ASK her what she wants. If she doesn’t know (and i wouldn’t be surprised by that) give her some time to mull it over and then ask her again. Ask her to brainstorm it and write it down! And YOU do it too!!!
If the time you have together is short…make the most of what you have. Don’t nag her with your checks and your “I love yous” if that’s not what she needs.
It’s true, maybe you can’t do all the things you used to with a budget so tight, but then, maybe all it takes is eating dinner together in a different part of the house. Get a babysitter and go out for a cup of coffee…just one, they’re pricey…and then hog the table all night making googy eyes at each other. Can’t afford a babysitter? Why not start a babysitting “barter” group where you and your friends all babysit for each other in return for babysitting?!
There are also lots of things to do for cheap or free. Why not do a little internet research and find a community calendar of events. If you never know what days you have off until they’re upon you…keeping an updated calendar can help with your sponteneity, and that community organized stuff is usually family friendly and cheap! It probably won’t even matter WHAT you’re doing, so long as you’re doing SOMETHING! I bet a trip to the supermarket together could ramp up the fun!!!
And in the meantime, hang in there. You are in very good company, in very large numbers right now. Kiss your wife and baby tonight with a little hope in your heart, brother…these tough times WILL end. And don’t forget to tell her you love her! 
